Between us there is something, I can't explain it to you.........

According to my recent horoscope, a new chapter in my life is about to begin.

I say, screw the new chapter, what I really need is an entirely different book.

Big plans this week. Hometown hangs, sandcastles and ball.

Got some sad news this week. He's out.
You were always my favorite. You didn't deserve this.


Hollywood hangs tuesday.....can't wait.........you never know what might happen with us......


Not really much point to this.............

Boredom becomes me.

Sometimes I feel like a rogue wave..........

Rarely seen. Highly speculated. And always destroying everything in my path.



My new favorite time of day is 5am. On the beach. Listening to the sounds of early morning.

Nothing comes to close to the clarity and stillness there.




If you want me, come find me. I won't stay still for long.


"I just gotta get myself over me"

Jealousy may not look good on but it sure does fit you well........

I had one of those amazingly grown up conversations with my mom today. You know, the kind you can only have 3000 miles away and over the phone.

I've learned alot of things I didn't know about me recently. Perhaps one of the biggest it this:

I refuse to settle.

To settle for mediocre over magical.
To settle for okay over OH WOW.
To settle for good over great.
To settle for you and all of this.

I'm through with the past, it's not worth my time. I can't change it, but I can learn from it. And I've learned it's not worth dwelling on the things I didn't enjoy when I was going through them.

Sometimes it's the looking back that's harder than the actual event.

Not to mention, if I spend all of my time looking behind me, I will miss all of the stuff ahead.....both good and bad.

It took some time to get here, but in the end the road made the journey. With all its twists, turns and unforseen bumps, it was what brought me here today. At times it was hated, during others adored so much. But for all that it was, it is what I needed.

Things haven't all quite come together yet. I'm convinced they never will. But for now, this is close enough.

You gave up on me, I never gave up on you.
Here's hoping no one will ever do the same to you.



Don't spend your life regretting the things you will never do. Spend it making the mistakes they all warned you not to.

Eventually, I'm gonna get what's good for me.........

I had some time to think today, to reflect on this recent chain of events.
This is what I came up with.


I may not have known yesterday, I may not know today or even tomorrow what it is that I want to be, but the thing is that's okay. I've realized that I have the the rest of my life to figure it out and what I need to do is live. Live the life that I want. Live each day to it's fullest. Just live.


With that said, I've figured out what I want to be when I grow up.


Happy.

I was only in it for your heart..........

Stop this heart beating just to know that I'm alive.
Once again I am defeated and there is no place to hide.
From the shadows of my past, from the regrets of tomorrow.
How can this be the way it is, why did I never know?
Now this is me battered, not broken or yet torn.
Just give this girl a minute, a great loss I must now mourn.
And when I'm through, lets start again as if it'd never been.
Restart my heart, restore my soul and bring life back once again.






Life in the O.C. is strange and unusual, not in a bad way, just in a different.

Still really don't have much figured out, but I have a better view.

Never thought I'd miss home so much, wonder if it misses me too........

Save me from this half life.........

Do you ever just hope that someday something that is some kind of wonderful will come along to make up for all of this?

I do.

I have to.



It's the only thing that keeps me going.