the heart that needs a metronome

I kinda like this place. I hope you like it too.

Monday, April 16, 2007

It's all for the best, of course it is...............

Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Let's face it -- you know what happens when you play it safe and follow all the rules. Isn't it time you did something that was a little scary and risky, but also stimulating and exciting? Step it up. Raise your game.



I really don't ever tend to believe these things, but....................

maybe it's time to just make the leap

I should mean more................

I'm......not okay today.

I'm not sure if it's the weather or the season or whatever, but somethings got me down again.

Maybe it's all these expecttions people have of me. They expect me to do well, they expect me to be successful, they expect me to come home soon.
But what if all of that is nothing that I want.
Do I ignore my heart just to keep things stable. To keep from rocking the boat?
But what if that's not the kind of person I am?
What if I'm the type of person who's only okay when the storm's hit and the boat is being tossd and turned and you don't know if you're gonna make it out alive.
What if I'm one of those people who thrive on catastrophe?
What if I'm just always meant to be a hot mess?

Because at this moment in time, I think I am.
Infact, that's the only thing I'm sure of about myself.
I'm a total fuck up and always will be. In my head. In my heart.
Even if everything on the outside looks well packaged and put together.
It's only because that's the illusion I want to give.
It's because I want to fool you all.

And as of now, I'm doing a pretty good job.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

they say i'm doomed, but i feel fine..................

There's a new excitement in the air and in my heart.
I've still yet to decide a few things,
but I have an ovewhelming feeling that everything is going to turn out just fine.
I'm optimistic and hopeful and full of oooey, gooey goodness.
I think Ive decided on a new career path.
something I think I will enjoy so much more than my present one.
This makes me all kinds of excited.
Just need to finalize a few more things.


Think I'll head out to hollywood tomorrow and find some diamonds in the rough to photograph.
I'm determined to find the real beauty in this city.
I think I may have already found some of it in you.


Thanks for being okay.


imsureillbeseeingyousoon

Friday, April 13, 2007

Your heart is worth more than you know...................

Are you still with us?
It's hard to tell anymore.


If you are, please let us know.



Help me to not give up on you.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

the new face of failure.................

in one night my world has completely and totally fallen apart.

i'm sorry that i ruined your life.
i'm sorry that i'm the reason your stuck.
i'm sorry that because of me you've been miserable.
i'm sorry that you fight.
i'm sorry your relationship is so fucked.
i'm sorry that i can't be sorry anymore.

i may have been the reason you stayed, but i never was the one who kept you from leaving.
you always talked a big game but could never follow through.
but now you've decided it's time to call it quits.

well fine, just don't expect me to take sides or listen to your shit.
because i'm not going to do it.

you've driven me 2500 miles across the country and now your putting a divide where nothing can ever bridge it.
in between all our hearts.

do it because you hate your life.
do it because you're unhappy.
do it because you want to.

but don't expect me to stand by and condemn him.
because that i won't do.

i love you both some much

sometimes i really just don't like you at all.



makeitallokayforme


"give me something to believe, cause i don't believe in you anymore."